I've come back to this blog just over a year on from my last post, I didn't plan for it to be that way but it seems a good chance to post a year on update.
I'm passing my modules, I'm enjoying my degree and I have a solid group of friends. I'm still pretty much the same, I've grown up a bit and learnt how to not let people make me upset when I've done nothing wrong. I also run now, mad ting.
Maybe a couple of months ago? I signed up to run the Birmingham 10k at the end of April, promising myself I would start training for it. It's now a week away and I have not done as much training as I should have but I'm still so proud of where I am, and with it being the marathon day I wanted to write about the inspiration I take from these people. This morning I watched a programme on BBC, "Mind over Marathon", following the journey of people with various mental illnesses who embarked on a journey to run this year's marathon, raising money for Heads Together, a charity aiming to end the stigma surrounding mental illness, and get people talking about it. It left me feeling so inspired, some of these people had no background in running, and today ran the marathon, after only 5 months training while dealing with other problems that come with their mental illness which I think is amazing.
This time last year I discovered I'd been suffering with anxiety after way too long of trying to "get over it" myself and not seeking help. Things were dark, I had zero motivation to leave my room or bed, I didn't want to see people despite being ridiculously sociable, and despite having a desire to succeed I couldn't do my uni work because everything was just too much. Now I'm sitting in my room (admittedly still having uni work to do but I feel like I can do it), living with and seeing people every day, mostly seeing the world for the good it is, and feeling so much better about life. I still have my days, I still have anxiety, but I don't feel like I have a problem. One of the things I have been told throughout my life by professionals is "have you tried exercising?" to aid my low moods. I hated it. Everytime someone says that I hate it, how can exercise sort out the things I face in my own head? But hear me out it has actually helped. This week, I ran 4 out of 7 days. This week I managed to motivate myself to leave the house in my trainers and go running. For 4 days this week I accomplished something. I started the week on 2k and I finished the week running/walking 7. This week I saw the world. This week I had time to think for myself, and be away from the stress of life for an hour a day. This week I saw myself getting fitter. This week I felt the steps get easier. This week I went from finding it hard leaving the house to go on a run, to enjoying the run that I went on this morning. I achieved all of that this week. It's done me the world of good, I feel amazing. I regret all of the times I doubted the people who told me to try exercise, because now I have a manageable target, now I have goals in reach, just going on a run more than 3 times a week is enough. In the show Mind over Marathon they discuss how the key is thinking about the run as moving forward, you're always focusing on moving forward. I've done that this week, I've pushed my distances, I've pushed myself. I've been in control of my body, when this time last year, even late last year, my mind was very much in control of my body.
I'm never going to get rid of my anxiety, but running has helped me get one step ahead of it. I'm not saying this will be exactly the same as everyone else, some anxieties affect people differently to mine. Mine is in the form of not being good enough, for anyone, or anything. I have times where I simply can't get over the fact that I'm so insignificant in the scale of the world, and that I can't do anything to stop what's happening. But running even this 10k has helped that, I'm not insignificant and I'm not a waste.
Basically, what I'm trying to show and say is that you shouldn't completely dismiss the fact that exercise can help. I did, and now I'm finding happiness in the success of my little milestones. I'm not running for a mental health charity this time, but I am definitely inspired to run more for them in the future.
But for now I am running 10k to raise money for a new bone marrow unit in Cardiff, inspired by one of my friends at uni. I've just passed my target but would love any new donations if you can manage! Check out the pages and read the stories here: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Rachel-Mortimer2
Beatrices Page (and the story): https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Beatrice-Edwards1
I'm passing my modules, I'm enjoying my degree and I have a solid group of friends. I'm still pretty much the same, I've grown up a bit and learnt how to not let people make me upset when I've done nothing wrong. I also run now, mad ting.
Maybe a couple of months ago? I signed up to run the Birmingham 10k at the end of April, promising myself I would start training for it. It's now a week away and I have not done as much training as I should have but I'm still so proud of where I am, and with it being the marathon day I wanted to write about the inspiration I take from these people. This morning I watched a programme on BBC, "Mind over Marathon", following the journey of people with various mental illnesses who embarked on a journey to run this year's marathon, raising money for Heads Together, a charity aiming to end the stigma surrounding mental illness, and get people talking about it. It left me feeling so inspired, some of these people had no background in running, and today ran the marathon, after only 5 months training while dealing with other problems that come with their mental illness which I think is amazing.
This time last year I discovered I'd been suffering with anxiety after way too long of trying to "get over it" myself and not seeking help. Things were dark, I had zero motivation to leave my room or bed, I didn't want to see people despite being ridiculously sociable, and despite having a desire to succeed I couldn't do my uni work because everything was just too much. Now I'm sitting in my room (admittedly still having uni work to do but I feel like I can do it), living with and seeing people every day, mostly seeing the world for the good it is, and feeling so much better about life. I still have my days, I still have anxiety, but I don't feel like I have a problem. One of the things I have been told throughout my life by professionals is "have you tried exercising?" to aid my low moods. I hated it. Everytime someone says that I hate it, how can exercise sort out the things I face in my own head? But hear me out it has actually helped. This week, I ran 4 out of 7 days. This week I managed to motivate myself to leave the house in my trainers and go running. For 4 days this week I accomplished something. I started the week on 2k and I finished the week running/walking 7. This week I saw the world. This week I had time to think for myself, and be away from the stress of life for an hour a day. This week I saw myself getting fitter. This week I felt the steps get easier. This week I went from finding it hard leaving the house to go on a run, to enjoying the run that I went on this morning. I achieved all of that this week. It's done me the world of good, I feel amazing. I regret all of the times I doubted the people who told me to try exercise, because now I have a manageable target, now I have goals in reach, just going on a run more than 3 times a week is enough. In the show Mind over Marathon they discuss how the key is thinking about the run as moving forward, you're always focusing on moving forward. I've done that this week, I've pushed my distances, I've pushed myself. I've been in control of my body, when this time last year, even late last year, my mind was very much in control of my body.
I'm never going to get rid of my anxiety, but running has helped me get one step ahead of it. I'm not saying this will be exactly the same as everyone else, some anxieties affect people differently to mine. Mine is in the form of not being good enough, for anyone, or anything. I have times where I simply can't get over the fact that I'm so insignificant in the scale of the world, and that I can't do anything to stop what's happening. But running even this 10k has helped that, I'm not insignificant and I'm not a waste.
Basically, what I'm trying to show and say is that you shouldn't completely dismiss the fact that exercise can help. I did, and now I'm finding happiness in the success of my little milestones. I'm not running for a mental health charity this time, but I am definitely inspired to run more for them in the future.
But for now I am running 10k to raise money for a new bone marrow unit in Cardiff, inspired by one of my friends at uni. I've just passed my target but would love any new donations if you can manage! Check out the pages and read the stories here: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Rachel-Mortimer2
Beatrices Page (and the story): https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Beatrice-Edwards1
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